Meetings and Musings

Yesterday we had a full day of teachers meetings. Is it normal to sit in a meeting and not have the slightest idea what they are trying to tell you. Sometimes I feel like people are speaking a different language than I speak myself. I hope this is a common occurrence among teachers. But seriously I'm completely lost. I have no idea what anyone is talking about ever. I want to ask but you see I really don't care. Ignorance is bliss. I may be happier not knowing. I feel like raising my hand and asking may I please go back to planet art? That's sort of what I feel like, all of these people are on the same page with pencils and I'm on a canvas with a paintbrush. I didn't even get the book their reading, instead I got a poster....with a non-objective splatter painting on it.

But after the meetings that I have no idea what I was supposed to get out of, I got some time to work in my classroom. I hung up art for the first time this semester, I was behind. Now my hallway has some much needed color and my seventh graders are thrilled. My room is a little cleaner and more organized. I threw a ton of things away. What is it with keeping junk? I've felt for years I had this terrible tendency, but I've recently realized I don't, certainly not by comparison to other teachers, or people in general.

I am thinking of starting an Artist of the month. I can't decide the rules, shall I have one student per class or one for all of my students? Should I choose a boy and a girl or just one. I can't decide.

I also got told I looked hot today from a student.....a girl student. Weird right?

Bathroom Prayers

So I have this kid, we'll call him Kyle. Kyle's been on my roster since August 19, the first day of school. Kyle didn't show up to class until September 9. So I'm sitting at my desk when in walks this scruff of a since given up on the existence of Kyle but I gave him a seat. I wondered what in the world I was to do with him a boy who asks me where to sit. I asked "Are you new?" he responded "no, I'm Kyle." I had long since given up on the existence of Kyle but I gave him a seat. I wondered what in the world I was to do with him and his grades. I've not seen this kid before. He's missed two weeks of class, that's at least three projects in the art room. So as I left school that day I stopped by the office and asked for his story. Kyle comes from a home broken by meth and neglect. Kyle is only ever at school to avoid juvenile detention. The office didn't have any advice for me, they basically told me not to expect him and not to worry about his grades. Well this made me sad. I went to the store and bought him a sketchbook, in the small hope of actually seeing him again. He didn't show up the next day. The following Monday he was back I gave him his sketchbook and he thanked me, he really seems to be a sweet kid with no help or direction. He came the next day and I was thrilled. I'd seen him three days, two in a row. During the third class that Kyle had attended he asked to use the restroom, I was hesitant. Knowing where this poor kid comes from worried me, what would he do in the bathroom? But I promised myself when I started teaching not to label kids. So I let him go, Kyle was out of my class fifteen minutes before I called the office, he came back escorted by the principal, pretty dazed eyed and angry. I didn't see Kyle today. I hated to do it. I hate the fact that this kid has been taught that drugs are okay, that schools not important, that people don't care. I know this post isn't very amusing or cheerful but I'd like my readers thoughts to go out to this confused sixteen year old. Pray that he finds some direction.

Sick

Today I feel sick. I am homesick, physically sick, people sick, tired sick, cold sick and the list could go on and on. I am ready for the weekend on Tuesday morning. I'm a first year high school art teacher alone in a tiny town. Kids are strange, I am strange, I'm not sure what I'm doing at all. I don't know what I'm teaching next hour. My trash can at school hasn't been emptied all year, yuck. The kids are bigger than me, they talk back. Can you imagine my surprise as a first year teacher when high school students back talked me? It's terrible! Why are they so mean? I am not sure how to make them be nicer. I am sure that my problems are slight by comparison to some other teachers. I am very fortunate to have walked into a good situation. But still, it's very overwhelming. There are so many new things. It's new for me to be told the problems of my students. Problems I wouldn't have dreamed of revealing to my art teacher when I was their age. Lesson after lesson hour after hour the days fly by and I keep wondering, am I going to get the hang of this? I guess we'll see. Here comes another class...gotta teach.